What NOT to do when your Man pulls away from you!

The Difference of the Sexes

Does your man after you argue become silent? When he is having a bad day he just won't speak two words about what's bothering him? For many women we immediately go to big red button that says "PANIC" and push it . Setting off a code red that we need to investigate. Well we are wasting our time in fact we are hurting our relationship with them by doing this. Women communicate our feelings through verbal communication. While women maybe the type to talk it out, most guys are the type to work it out. They do not do this with us. They do it ALONE. We have to first understand their logic behind this, its called the psychological cave. This is where men go PRIVATELY to work out, sort out, and process information.

Don't Push

Guys have survived successfully for thousands of years using this process. So far be it for you to go pushing him into a corner. Guys HATE to give on the spot answers to questions us females ask. Why? Because they know it will be followed up with more questions. Plus it is perceived to men that if they share their feelings with us at every whim then he is not a man. He minus well be a girl if he can't sort though his own messes. Guys may ask us for our opinion on issues that he has already processed just to see what we come up with or what maybe a nice add on. So don't push for answers when he goes into his psychological cave. What will happen if you do? He will take your pushing him as clinginess and that will draw him away from you more. Then if you assume he is mad or tell him you know what he feels he will perceive you as too needy. Clinginess and being to needy are MAJOR turn offs for men. It could even be the reason he decides to leave you alone FOR GOOD.

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Give him space

YES I KNOW THIS DRIVES YOU CRAZY. Well you have to relax and get over it. Men need space just as much as we do. Yes we may think the worst when they have gone silent, that they have lost interest in us, they don't want to communicate with us, they are mad at us, etc. Well walk away from the PANIC button slowly and think he is just being a man. When we talk to our girlfriends we can talk for hours about how much he upset us and how men can be dense sometimes. This is not the case for men. When they go to hang out with a male friend the purpose is to have a good time. They are not going to talk about what pissed them off. Lest they look like a little girl in front of the other guy. If you give him the time he needs to sort though his bullshit, without adding to it, he will come back and explain with simple words what happened. Don't expect some long drawn out answer. Its not like he is studying for a test. He will address it, and add he feels closer to you now. Or he noticed you been trying to keep him in a good mood. Point blank wait for him to break the ice on what he was thinking over. Then keep the drama down and you will be golden.

Last advice from me to you

My thoughts from me to you my reader is that males are simply not as complex as we make them to be. If they want to share with you they will. If not then that is fine. Yes he has a reason but you can't force it out of him. Give him space and if he still doesn't want to address it then be direct and ask if everything is okay between you too. If he says yes leave it alone. Don't fix what isn't broken. If he says I don't know then ask him what is the problem. Be direct but not pushy, just be calm. If he says he don't know again, then pause and think it maybe something he has to work out. Then say, okay when you figure it out let me know. Then leave it alone and give him space. As in make yourself unavailable for a little while he maybe feeling smothered by you. The key is to know when to push and know when to give him space. Don't worry about if he breaks up with you during your space. Or looks to be with other women. As he might be testing YOU to see how much you will endure for him. When you had enough of the bullshit call him on it. Say to him are we or aren't we together? If he says no make it clear to him you won't be waiting around for him anymore and your moving on. Yes you maybe hurt but guys respond to aggression. If you say it with enough aggression he will believe it and then if he really wants you he will claim you. If not he was a waste of your time anyways move on. Let him process in silence after an argument. Trust me it won't take as long if you let him think. Then see where things go from there. ;)